How dare America’s Got Talent make Americans think they got talent, when, in reality, only like 10 Americans got talent and they are the Americans that win the show? Everything you need to know about and expect during, the most important election of our lifetimes. REO Speedwagon4. ︎ Subscribe now, never miss another upload! I leave the room knowing full well that I have been intoxicated by the briefest glimmer of my own specialness; that I am no better than the clown who goes to every talent show audition just to be noticed one time. But was it, though? And then last year a very good friend of mine, Alex Boye, went on the show and made it to the 2nd Round. Haha, fuck, this is where it ends—by my own unpreparedness. Let’s keep it clean, okay?” he advises. I am now almost inconsolably depressed, and also angry. Another reason I chose 2015 to go for it was the one gripe I had about the show the whole time: Why not come to the city with the most talent I believe, per capita, of any in the world, mine, Salt Lake City. Around me, auditioners and their supporters are having tricks done to them by magicians and clowns and acrobats (including the girls in the bubble bath), and are patiently acting surprised and wowed, even when they might want to work on their own material—because, as of now, we have no idea when we’ll be called to audition, who it will be in front of, or whether or not it will be taped (although it occurs to me that a portion of people came to audition simply to be filmed in this holding room watching other people, like it’s its own form of free, highly-inconvenient entertainment). I only accepted one gig in order to pay my bills for the month, in order to leave March open for the next round of auditions. But before I can introduce myself to her and maybe pat her on the head, I am called up by a volunteer, show my ID and documents (I am praised for being “so prepared”), am given a sticker with my number on it and several forms to fill out. He’s standing next to a man in a Union officer uniform holding a 10-foot-long flag pole and American flag. And I have a job! Maybe, but then again, so can Howie Mandel. And for some reason they gave me the cold shoulder. In the past four hours, I’ve seen at least 100 of them, and they all basically look and sound the same. To enter the auditorium, you need a wristband—pink if you’re an auditioner; green if you’re “support.” I ask for one pink wristband please, show my audition confirmation number, and said no, ma’am, I don’t have any support. How can she expect to got talent if she can’t even follow simple instructions and hold onto her ID sticker? If any of the information provided by you is found or determined by Producer to be false, incomplete, inaccurate or otherwise misleading, Producer reserves the right to immediately dismiss and disqualify you from the selection process, the competition, and the Program, if selected to participate. “You’re doing comedy? Here’s what I performed (much of it lies), as I have it written down: I am so excited to be auditioning for America’s Got Talent. And even those Americans don’t go on to do anything particularly impressive, since I can’t name a single one except for Nick Cannon? I tell him I am a full time writer and write funny essays, and can read him one of those if he liked. He says, “So, what else do you have?”, “So, give me more material. After everyone else has performed, the producer calls my name. PS: Not located in NYC, LA, Nashville, Miami or Dallas? Just kidding, they haven’t looked at me in a decade. Along with my management and advisors at the time, we couldn't get past the extensive contracting AGT required. No problem. As I reach the front of this line, I stand beside a dad and his devastatingly shy-looking teenage daughter, who holds a folder (probably containing sheet music) with the words “Pereoid 4" written on the front. I am the only person in a sweater as far as my eyes can see. I want to kiss his mouth and fly back to Manhattan with my own wings. They told me they'd be in touch by March or April for the next round, which was probably, most likely, going to happen for an act like mine. When recited from memory, poorly, it is even less funny. I say, “Yes, I am going there too,” and they follow me. ASCAP Experience and America's Got Talent are collaborating to give ASCAP members and ASCAP Experience pass holders special access to music audition showcases for a future season of AGT. I want to hear more.”. I did everything I could to prove I'd be great for this show. If you’re Donald Trump, every spice is scary, because he’s such a xenophobe. I had been told at the beginning of the year to put all of March on hold. I think it might be because I look like a normal adult, but in my heart I suspect it’s because I look boring. When I feel I cannot possibly go on, a range of numbers that includes mine is called, and I get up, sick with nausea, and follow a producer-led parade of auditioners down stairs, outside, and into yet another building (! Sat and waited for hours, no questions answered, acted like they didn't know me after talking and receiving videos for months, with my little number on my chest, kept getting in trouble for taking pics of myself in the waiting area for my own records and posterity. I was told to submit multiple videos, on performance decorated stages, in front of audiences, doing exactly what I would do in increments of 90 seconds, and then a set of 5 minutes, with the few routines that were left from the bottom of the barrel of my choices. Disappointing. A producer calls my range of numbers. I black out most of the performance, although I notice a smattering of friendly laughs from the parents in the room, and a marked absence of any teen laughs. — America's Got Talent (@AGT) May 27, 2020 With all the pleasantries and playful jabs out of the way, Cowell summed up the judges' goal for this … Two people sing “How Far I’ll Go,” from Moana, and one girl nearly cries. Submit a video link of you or your group performing music live. I cried listening to them interview a young woman who was clearly there as a joke, and was just as clearly not in on the joke. I really need it, since, if you don’t remember, I came here alone. WHAT OBSTACLES HAVE YOU OVERCOME IN PURSUING YOUR ACT: Crippling shyness, a generally weak body. They’ll probably go find their mom, if they’re so lucky and were able to bring their mom, in the waiting room and then they’ll leave and go buy a tuna salad sandwich at a Duane Reade and talk about what a good experience this all was. And second, I got talent! We are family, and with this one minuscule bit of reassurance, I am suddenly immortal and better than. Eiffel 65 (I'm Blue Da-Ba-Dee)5. Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email. 2 days later I tried out for America's Got Talent, and to be honest, I wondered why I even needed to be there....as I was currently the most famous person in the world while trying out for a reality show. So when they announced they were coming to Utah I said yes, thank you for coming here, I'll come "try out". Good luck! By using this site, you agree to this use. I also learn that I have inadvertently chosen a seat in the front row, in other words, directly in front of the one row of cameras filming the room. He doesn’t ask. The work and pay was great, and I guess AGT considered me next in line of the entertainers they wanted to feature. I am SO grateful this day for this news. An elderly cross-eyed woman eats a sandwich while staring at me, or just past me. Every song I submitted that would be killer for their show was denied. Who knows, maybe I win it, my life is transformed, la-dee-da-dee-da.