Want to have the first draft of your novel finished one month from today? Thanks for visiting The Writer's Dig blog. Like me, him, her, us, and them, whom is the object of a verb or preposition. What’s The Difference Between “Blustery,” “Windy,” And “Breezy”? Deciding whether to use who or whom has plagued people for years. If whom is on the decline, then who must be growing in popularity. Where other words in a complex sentence might throw you off track, simplify the sentence to include just the basic subject, verb, and object. It also tends to come after the verb of the sentence. Similarly, who called and who baked in the other examples. Let's try another one. One way to remember is to check to see which pronoun can replace the questionable word. Take the last example, what if its like “you are the girl who/whom? You asked him to the dance?Whom is the correct choice. All of that said, in informal speech and writing, speakers will often opt for who where whom has traditionally been used. No. This pronoun is the object of the preposition with, so whom is the right pick. But there is a difference. Who and whom tend to occur in complicated sentences. But for those who want to know the difference between who and whom, here is an explanation. In this case, the subject and verb are “You asked.” The pronoun following the verb is the object of the verb, therefore whom is correct. The confusion between who and whom is one of the most common problems writers face. Rule #3: Give it a sincere and honest effort to determine if it's “who” or “whom.” If it takes more than a 30 seconds to figure it out, pick the one that sounds best to the ear (read it aloud) and move on. First, it's important to note "who" and "whom" are both pronouns. Q: I don't understand the difference between who and whom. For more great writing advice, click here, Oh Boy, You're Having a Girl: A Dad's Survival Guide to Raising Daughters. Who, like I, he, she, we, and they, is used as the subject of a sentence. Next, it's also important to note "who" refers to a subject of a clause and "whom" refers to the object of a clause. The difference between who and whom is exactly the same as the difference between I and me, he and him, she and her, etc. What Is The Difference Between “Judgement” And “Judgment”? Whom is the direct object in all three sentences. Whom is the correct choice after a preposition. “Intrusive” vs. “Obtrusive”: What’s The Difference? Remember, "who" is the person doing the action. Very descriptive and great explanations! Let's end the great debate between "who" and "whom" by remembering to test it with a quick switch between "he" and "him" or "she" and "her." If him is OK, then whom is OK. Whom is used as the object of the verb or the object of a preposition. Is it, "Whom shall I save?" You'll know when to use "whom" if the pronoun is used in the objective case, or action is being done to the pronoun. While the pronoun follows a preposition (for), it’s also the subject of the second verb (played). This sentence is easier to figure out if you isolate the part of the sentence containing the who/whom choice: who/whom the expert consulted. Couples who hold hands stay together longer. Over the last 200 years, the pronoun whom has been on a steady decline. Redefine your inbox with Dictionary.com updates! Many English speakers do not know the difference between who and whom. If you’re writing or speaking to someone in those circles, you should understand proper usage of these pronouns. Well, let's substitute "he" and "him" into each sentence. Is it "who" should I invite on my vacation or "whom" should I invite on my vacation? If so, go with who. It's really not that far off base and, in an informal setting, most people may not even notice.But, isn't it nice to know you're choosing the right word as often as possible? Not “I’m driving she to Maine.”, English lessons and language tools from Laura K. Lawless. I wasn't the one who made him feel unwelcome. When placed as a subject, always use who. If him, her, or them is a better fit, opt for whom. At www.grammarianinthecity.com, Woods blogs about current language trends and amusing signs she spots around New York City. And when in doubt on the "who whom" debacle, recast the sentence to avoid the issue altogether. Brian A. Klems is the editor of this blog, online editor of Writer's Digest and author of the popular gift bookOh Boy, You're Having a Girl: A Dad's Survival Guide to Raising Daughters. For example, I cheered for who played hardest. Here's an extensive list of commonly confused words. “Marketing” vs. “Advertising”: What’s The Difference? And, believe it or not, that's precisely what's going to help us break it all down and choose the correct word. Who, like I, he, and she, is a subject – it is the person performing the action of the verb. This is who warned me. Would you say I should invite "he" or I should invite "him"? When in doubt, try this simple trick: If you can replace the word with “he”’ or “’she,” use who. Be careful, though. Whom is the object of the verb consulted. If you untangle the sentence and figure out (pardon the expression) who is doing what to whom, you’ll be fine. It was Carl who broke all the pencils in the house. Why Words like “Choice,” “Change,” and “Conversion” Can Harm LGBTQ People, Other Ways To Say “To Whom It May Concern”. Like whom, the pronoun him ends with the letter M.When you're trying to decide whether to use who or whom, ask yourself if the hypothetical answer to the question would contain he or him.If it’s him, you use whom, and they both end with M. All Rights Reserved. For example: You talked to who/whom? That is the person on the receiving end of the action. > I’m driving to Maine with her. Since the answer is "him," you know to say or write, "Whom should I invite on my vacation?". I’m driving to maine”, It’s easier to understand if you change it to third person: She is the girl whom I’m driving to Maine ==> I’m driving her to Maine. In this case, "whom" is receiving the action of celebrating. In these sentences, whom functions as an indirect object. That Is the Question, How to Climb the Ladder of Language Formality, How to Match Your Message to the Situation, How to Choose the Correct Verb for Negative Expressions. who. Perhaps you can commit some of those pairs to memory as well. It’s an objective pronoun. Get in the Halloween spirit by reading these contemporary horror novels recommended by WD editor and horror fan, Moriah Richard. "For example, "Who is the best in class?" Can you please explain to me, in simple terms, how to differentiate between the two?—Anonymous. Her more than 50 books include English Grammar For Dummies and many children's books. John is the man whom you met at dinner last week. You asked whom to the dance? > I told you about him. In some places, it hardly matters, because using who when you should use whom is so common that it’s not even considered much of a mistake. Lisa is the girl with whom I’m driving to Maine. Want other Grammar Rules? (Not with "she"). Lately, some grammarians have given up on whom. If you can replace the word with "her," "him," or "them" for example, use "whom." Use "whom" when a sentence needs an object pronoun like "him" or "her." A good trick is to see if you can substitute the words he or she or they. If you can replace it with “him” or “her,” use whom. (Not "him" warned me), Jack is the one who wants to go. Since who is a subject, it’s correct. The two—as you’ll recall from English class—are related and may seem interchangeable. When in doubt, substitute him (sometimes you’ll have to rephrase the sentence) and see if that sounds right. When to use “who” Who, like I, he, she, we, and they, is used as the subject of a sentence. > He warned me. They both kind of sound okay, don't they? Whom is also an interrogative pronoun, but it is used in place of the object of a question. Take the sentence: Describe 2020 In Just One Word? When to Use 'Whom' Whom is both simple and complicated. That means it performs actions: Who is doing the rescuing in the first sentence. That's right; the two words in question belong to the same "I-you-he-she-it-we-you-they" family. Whom is also the correct choice after a preposition: with whom, one of whom, not "with who, one of who.". The pair of words is analogous to they and them: just as we'd say (forgetting the lack of clarity) "They helped them," we'd say "Who helped whom." So you would ask, “You talked to whom?”. If, someday, you accidentally say, "Who should I invite on my vacation?" Next, it's also important to note "who" refers to a subject of a clause and "whom" refers to the object of a clause. whom. (Not about "he"), Lisa is the girl with whom I’m driving to Maine. Every good story needs a nice (or not so nice) turn or two to keep it interesting. Seeing it in action will help this stick in your memory bank. It would be incorrect to say, “You talked to he?”, but saying, “You talked to him?” makes grammatical sense.